Writing an obituary is one of the most meaningful things you'll do in the days after a loss — and one of the hardest. You're trying to capture a whole person in a few hundred words, at a moment when words feel both impossibly important and impossibly hard to find.
This guide walks you through the process step by step, with sample wording throughout. If you'd prefer to be guided through it rather than start from scratch, the Memories Obituary Writer uses AI-assisted prompts to produce a personalised first draft you can shape and make your own.
What should an obituary include?
A well-written obituary does three things: it announces the death, celebrates the life, and gives people the information they need about the service. Most obituaries are between 200 and 500 words, though longer tributes are common for newspapers with space and online publications where length isn't restricted.
The core elements are:
Full name, and any nicknames they were known by
Date of birth and date of passing
Place of birth and place of residence
Immediate family — partner, children, grandchildren, siblings
A brief biography covering the key chapters of their life
Their profession, passions, or what they were known for
Service details — date, time, location
Any special requests, such as donations in lieu of flowers
Not every obituary includes all of these. Some families keep it to the essential facts. Others write something closer to a biographical essay. There is no single right approach — only what feels true to the person and appropriate for the publication.
Step 1 — Start with the facts
Before you write a single sentence, gather the essential information: full name, dates, places, and the names of immediate family members. Double-check spelling on every name. Double-check dates. These are the details that get cut and pasted into newspapers and public records, and errors are difficult to correct once published.
Sample opening:
[Full name], beloved [wife/husband/mother/father/sister/brother] and [friend/colleague/community member], passed away peacefully on [date] at the age of [age]. Born in [place of birth] on [date of birth], [first name] lived most of [their/his/her] life in [place of residence].
You can adjust the tone — "passed away peacefully," "died suddenly," "entered eternal rest" — to reflect the circumstances and the family's preferences.
Step 2 — Write a brief biography
This is the heart of the obituary. A good biography doesn't try to include everything — it paints a picture of who the person was, what defined them, and how they moved through the world.
Think in chapters: where they grew up, how they came to the work they did, the relationships that shaped them, the things they loved, and the qualities that made them unmistakably themselves. Specific details land harder than general ones. A habit everyone remembers. A phrase they always used. Something small that captures something large about who they were.
Sample biography paragraph:
[Name] grew up in [place], the [oldest/youngest/middle] of [number] children, and carried the warmth of that [upbringing/community/household] throughout [their/his/her] life. After studying [subject] at [institution], [he/she/they] built a career in [field], where [he/she/they] was known for [quality or specific contribution]. Outside of work, [name] could most often be found [activity or passion] — something those who loved [him/her/them] came to think of as entirely [his/her/their] own.
Step 3 — Name the people they loved
An obituary typically names the immediate family — those who survive the person and those who preceded them in death. The convention is to list survivors first, then those who have passed.
Sample wording:
[Name] is survived by [his/her/their] [relationship], [name]; [his/her/their] children, [names]; and [his/her/their] grandchildren, [names]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [relationship], [name].
If the family is large, it's common to name immediate family and then refer to "many beloved nieces, nephews, and friends" rather than listing everyone. This is a matter of preference and the publication's word count limits.
Step 4 — Include the service details
If a service is being held, include the date, time, and location clearly. If the service is private, say so — people will know not to attend uninvited but will understand that a farewell is being held.
Sample wording:
A [funeral service / celebration of life / memorial service] will be held on [day], [date], at [time], at [venue name and address]. Family and friends are warmly invited to attend. In lieu of flowers, the family welcomes donations to [charity name] at [website].
If the service has already been held by the time the obituary is published — which is common when obituaries appear in print several days after the death — you can omit the service details or note that a private service has taken place.
Step 5 — Close with something personal
The closing lines of an obituary are what people tend to remember. A quote the person lived by. A line that captures how they made people feel. A final thought from the family.
Sample closing lines:
[Name] had a gift for making everyone in the room feel like the most important person in it. [He/She/They] will be deeply missed by all who knew [him/her/them].
Those who loved [name] will carry [him/her/them] forward in the ways they laughed, the things they noticed, and the kindness they tried to pass on.
The family takes comfort in knowing that [name]'s warmth, generosity and [quality] will live on in the people [he/she/they] loved so well.
How long should an obituary be?
For a newspaper or printed publication, 200–300 words is a practical target — most publications charge by the word or have strict limits. For an online obituary or a memorial platform, length is less constrained and 400–600 words gives you room to write something more complete.
Whatever the length, the test is the same: does this sound like the person? Does it capture something true? If so, it's long enough.
What is the difference between an obituary and a eulogy?
An obituary is a written announcement of a death, typically published in a newspaper, on a funeral home website, or in an online memorial. It is usually factual, concise, and written for a public audience who may not have known the person well.
A eulogy is a speech delivered at the funeral or memorial service, typically by someone close to the person. It is longer, more personal, and written for the people in the room who loved them.
The two often draw on the same material — the same biography, the same stories — but serve different purposes and different audiences. If you're writing both, start with the obituary. The process of gathering the facts and finding the right words often makes the eulogy easier to write afterward.
Getting help with the writing
The Memories Obituary Writer guides you through the process with structured prompts — asking about the person's life, relationships, career, and character — and generates a personalised first draft to work from. It's particularly useful when the blank page feels impossible, which at this moment it often does.
The content you write flows automatically into the Memories Online Memory Book, where it can be preserved alongside photos, the tribute video, and messages from family and friends — a permanent record that outlasts any newspaper edition.
Writing for a specific person
Every obituary is shaped by who the person was and what they meant to the people writing it. These guides may help:
Writing an obituary is hard. The Memories Obituary Writer guides you through it — step by step, in your own words. Start for free — no credit card required.
